Ranking the Star Wars Movies: Worst to First

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In a 'worst to first' ranking, I give unto you, the Star Wars movies ranked with nothing to quantify it other than my personal preference.

Episode I: The Phantom Menace - With a child actor who delivers dialogue as bland as the plot and an amphibious alien whose attempts at comedy relief are more distracting than anything else, The Phantom Menace is clearly the weakest of the franchise. Even the fast-paced intensity of the duel between Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon and Darth Maul can't save this movie from being the worst of the bunch.
When they retconned the force into bacteria, the magic was destroyed.

Episode II: Attack of the Clones - There's a large gap between the quality of 'Phantom' and 'Clones', so don't let the position of Episode II lead you to believe I don't like it. There was plenty to enjoy here. The 'Clone Wars' was immortalized in Star Wars lore when it was first mentioned in 'A NEW HOPE' and many of us waited our entire lives to see it play out. While the field of battle was epic, much of the movie was devoted to detective work by Obi-Wan and playing out the love story between Anakin and an older woman.

Episode IV: A New Hope - The movie that started it all but there was too much that went wrong. Luke was a whiny farmboy who ran off with a crazy old man who filled his head with delusions of grandeur. The movie starts off with action but just as quickly turns into a long, dragged out tour through the desert. It's the scene that usually turns first time viewers off to the movie. I still want to skip it. There's literally nothing happening and whenever I show someone the movie for the first time, I keep my fingers crossed that they don't leave the room. If they survive that, the rest of the movie is worth watching. However it quickly becomes a parody of itself with plenty of fodder for pundits to poke holes in the plot.

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith - Obi-Wan Kenobi finally gets his chance to shine and the showdown between him and Anakin was worthy of the build-up. We see the epic turn of Anakin to the dark side, the execution of a sith lord and the infamous 'order 66' which commanded the slaughter of thousands of Jedi. Perhaps the darkest of all the Star Wars movies, which is probably why I have it ranked on the low-end. If we didn't get that scene of Darth Vader's 'NOOOO!' moment, I may have bumped it up the list.

Episode VI: Return of the Jedi - When you think of 'JEDI', the first thought that comes to mind is the cute, fuzzy Ewoks that live on the forest moon of Endor. I really wanted to rank this one behind 'SITH' but couldn't bring myself to do it. The more I thought about the movie, the more I felt impacted by the events that took place. Sure the Ewoks were a little hokey, but the rescue of Han Solo, the showdown between Luke and vader and the death of Yoda highlight so many great moments that came from 'JEDI'. It also produced one of the most used meme's on the internet...

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back - The ending of the movie cast a shadow of doubt over our heroes as Han's fate was left unknown. Vader drops one of the greatest 'WTF' lines in the history of cinema. The introduction of Yoda who goes from crazy swamp creature to wise master Jedi, testing young Luke's patience. The battle on Hoth was intense and showcased Luke's resourcefulness. The movie is the second darkest, behind 'SITH', as battle between father and son turns into a relentless beatdown of the hero. For the longest time this was my #1 favorite movie of the entire franchise, until...

Episode VII: The Force Awakens - J.J. Abrams delivers a powerhouse entry into the franchise by awakening themes from 'A NEW HOPE'. The movie felt familiar and nostalgic for older fans, such as myself, but also fresh and inviting for a new audience. The introduction of a fun new droid in BB-8 mimicked Lucas' vision of creating a property with the foresight of merchandising. Kylo Ren was a villain whose past was dark and mysterious; fitting of Star Wars. Han Solo's death impacted many fans on a personal level but it was done with such poetry and handled with such care that I can't stay mad. I loved the scene and everything about the delivery. Rey was a wonderful protagonist with some shrouded history of her own and the surprise ending as she hands Luke her lightsaber only got me more excited for the next chapter.

The only question that remains, is where will Episode VIII rank on the list?