by Chris Delloiacono, Mike Maillaro and Jeff Ritter

This week:

• What’s up with Daniel Bryan?
• WWE Bans the Curbstomp
• Former NXT Star officially out of wrestling
• Best in Our World - Theme songs
• NXT Results
• Lucha Underground Results

Mike: Welcome back to the longest running weekly episodic wrestling column on Critical Blast!  This is Cheap Pops!   

My name is Mike Maillaro, and I’m a certified geek and a bonafide nerd...and you can’t teach that.

This here is Big Chris.  And he’s 5 foot 7, and you can’t teach that.

And over there is Jeff Ritter...and he’s hot as a Canadian winter.  And you can’t teach that.

Bada-Bing, realest guys in the room!  HOW YOU DOING?

Jeff: I’m a hoser, eh? Beauty! No doot aboot that, eh? Queue up some Rush and lets put some biscuits in the basket!

Mike: Sorry for the lack of images this week.  I woke up with a brutal migraine and still had to post this story, so it was done quickly.  I will try to go back and add some later.

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Bad News for Daniel Bryan?

From Lords of Pain:

Mike: I had been thinking that Daniel Bryan wasn’t quite at full health yet.  They have seemed to be protecting him.  I know a lot of conspiracy theorists are saying the reason Daniel Bryan has been kept out of main event picture was to keep him from overshadowing Roman Reigns, but I haven’t really bought into that.   I hope that Daniel Bryan will make a recovery, but I can’t help but think of Edge who was forced to end his career way sooner than expected.  I am a huge Daniel Bryan fan, so I definitely hope that I am completely wrong about this.   

Jeff: Nobody in wrestling is 100% healthy, ever. That said, I recall reading the D-Bty was pretty rough shape during his hiatus, that his injuries may have been worse than previously expected. It wouldn’t surprise me if he goes out for another procedure before the year is out. As it is, all of the wrestlers could use more rest. The WWE schedule is a meat grinder.

Chris: Whatever the problem, I hope it's not career ending.  Bryan's long term health certainly seems at risk with his nerve issues.  One rumor is that Bryan suffered a concussion, which is never good, but at least it's not elbow or neck related.  I wish DB would take a few less risks in the ring.  I want to see him for a long time coming.

Mike: My other concern here is that I don’t want him to get labelled as fragile and have Vince use that as an excuse to continue his proud tradition of not giving smaller wrestlers a shot.  Daniel Bryan basically clawed himself to the top of the heap, and he has paved the way for many smaller indy guys to make it in the WWE.  Without Daniel Bryan and CM Punk, there would be no Seth Rollins.

I worry that WWE will slow and limit potential pushes for guys like Adrian Neville, Finn Balor, and Hideo Itami because of the problems Daniel Bryan has been dealing with. Which is unfair.  Wrestling is a brutal sport and many guys have suffered injuries.  Daniel Bryan has a fast paced, action packed style, and of course that is going to lead to injuries.  Get rid of that, and you have Big Show Vs Kane over and over again.  I’ll pass.  

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Predictions - Extreme Rules

Steel Cage Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Title

Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins (c)

The RKO is banned.

Jeff: The RKO is banned? All the more reason for there to be an RKO in this match. Obvious ref bump? Check. Ref selling he was shot by The Miz in “The Marine 4” and thus too out of it to make the count or acknowledge victory conditions? Check. Seth Rollins hot-shotting the title to Randy Orton so soon after winning it? Heck no. No Chance. Seth Rollins, “A Winner Is You!”  

Chris: I agree with you Jeff.  There's no way Seth drops the belt here.  Maybe Orton gets DQed for hitting an RKO.  That would be a real crap finish, but it would certainly allow them to push this program another month.

Mike: OH NO!  They banned the RKO.  So, that just means Orton has to kick Seth’s head off.  That’s not helping him much in kayfabe.  There is pretty much no way Seth loses the title this quickly.  I suspect lots of interference from the Authority helping him keep the title continuing this feud.  Which is probably a good thing.  They match up real well together.  

Jeff's Prediction: Seth Rollins

Chris's Prediction: Seth Rollins

Mike's Prediction: Seth Rollins

 

Russian Chain Match for the WWE United States Title

Rusev vs. John Cena (c)

Jeff: I’m not sure where I said it, either on Facebook somewhere or here on Cheap Pops, but I know I mentioned very recently that I’d love to see Rusev and Brock Lesnar in a Russian Chain Match. But do they listen to me? No, I get Rusev and Cena again. And since Cena’s not going to drop the title this soon, because they’re trying to build up the secondary belts and because he’s John Cena, this is a no-brainer. John Boy for the win, and the WWE Universe dies a little more inside.

Chris: I have no interest in this match.  I hope Nikita Koloff comes out and shows these guys how a Russian Chain Match works.  Again, Jeff, you nailed the outcome.  There's no way anything else occurs.

Mike:  I am going to continue to be an optimist wearing blinders.  The fact they made this match again makes me certain that they are not going to keep letting Cena bury Rusev.   They had a month of Cena elevating the competition of the title...but now it’s time to get it back on Rusev and let Rusev continuing his reign of terror.  If Rusev loses this match, the WWE needs to just close its doors for good.  

Jeff's Prediction: John Cena

Chris's Prediction: John Cena

Mike's Prediction: Rusev….crush!

 

WWE Intercontinental Title Match

Bad News Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan (c)

Jeff: I like Barrett, but he’s a bit fragile and is sometimes in the WWE doghouse, it seems. I like Bryan, but he’s a bit fragile and is sometimes buried because no matter what Vince says publically it drives him insane in the membrane when the WWE Universe doesn’t follow his plan. Because of Daniel Bryan’s underdog role and ability to get himself over, Roman Reigns is getting apathetic heat from the audiences. That wasn’t the plan. I’m not sure anybody really wins here, but unless Bryan is hurting more than we know, he’ll retain.  

Chris: Our first story makes me wonder about what's going to happen here.  We will have a good indication of Bryan's future very soon. I'm going to be upbeat and assume Bryan isn't in horrific shape, so That leaves me to agree with Jeff once more!  

Mike: Switching from being an optimist to being a pessimist here. Hopefully Daniel Bryan’s injuries aren’t going to keep him out of action again, but I can’t see them keeping the IC title on him if he’s unable to finish tours.  Their European tours are a very big deal, and pulling their hottest guy from the roster suggest to me that these problems are worse than they are letting on.   Barrett gets the belt back.  And maybe soon, he will feud with his NXT mentor Chris Jericho.  Barrett has to be closing in on Jericho’s record number of IC title reigns…

UPDATE: On Tuesday morning, WWE said that this match might not happen…

Daniel Bryan rose above six other Superstars to capture his first Intercontinental Championship in a Ladder Match at WrestleMania. However, if the ever-popular “Yes!” Man hopes to hold onto the title, he’ll have to get past the Superstar who lost the championship that day, Bad News Barrett, at Extreme Rules. Bryan is undergoing diagnostic testing to see if he can defend his title at Extreme Rules.

Jeff's Prediction: Daniel Bryan

Chris's Prediction: Daniel Bryan

Mike's Prediction:  Bad News Barrett

 

WWE Divas Title Match

Paige vs. Nikki Bella (c)

Jeff: I’ll go with Paige, but what I really want is for Big Cass to walk out on stage a few minutes into the match, start singing the theme from “The Price is Right” and then have Blue Pants come down the ring and show them how much better NXT Divas are. In case you don’t understand what I think of the “main roster” ladies, I’ll spell it out for ya, “S-A-W-F-T...SAAAAAWFT!”

Chris: Of late, there's been some improvement from the main roster Divas.  Mainly because they've been given a chance to work full segments and put on matches longer than a minute or two.  I would love to see Blue Pants or, I don't know, how about CHARLOTTE show at Extreme Rules.  In the end, Nikki is winning because Paige is going to film some unwatchable film with Miz.  Honestly, I expect the match to change since they did an injury angle with Paige on RAW.

Mike: I actually had no idea who the champ was, so I had to look it up.   I can’t see them giving Paige her third Divas title reign this early...but she deserves the title.  Real torn on this one.  I guess I will go with Paige, but I suspect I am way wrong on this one.  

 

Jeff's Prediction: Paige

Chris's Prediction: Nikki

Mike's Prediction: Paige

 

After we had made our predictions, they changed the match to:

WWE Divas Title Match

Naomi vs. Nikki Bella (c)

Mike: At least when they had Paige in the match, I could almost be interested.  Not any more.  When your arsenal contains a leaping butt bump, you should not be in a title match.  I’m looking at you Mojo Rawley.

Chris: Naomi does nothing for me.  I could care less at this point.  I'll stick with Nikki, though.  She's had a long run, and I wouldn't be surprised if WWE wants to erase AJ's reign as being the longest ever.

Jeff:     “Uh...huh-huh-huh. Hey Beavis! Mojo Rawley is your Dad. Huhuh-huh-huh-huh.”

    “No way, fart knocker! Mojo Rawley sucks! HE’s like worse than X-pac!”

    “Uhh, yeah. X-Pac sucks. Huh-huh-huh-huh.”

    “Heheh-mm-heheh. Hey Butthead, if Mojo Rawley is my Dad, your Dad is PN News.”

    “Beavis, you butt-munch! Nobody remembers PN News.”

“I do! PN News was like the Biz Markie of wrestling! He was all like,

‘YO BABY YO BABY YO! YOU GOT WHAT I NEED BUT YOU SAY HE’S FRIEND!’”

“Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh.”

“Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.”

“My dad can kick your Dad’s ass!”

“Everybody kicks Mojo Rawley’s Ass. Even that ugly chick CJ Parker.”

“Yeah. She sucks.”

“Hehe-heheh-heh-heh. Yeah! she sucks! SHE SUCKS! LIKE THIS PPV! IT ALL SUCKS! NOBODY’S GONNA SCORE! WE’RE JUST GONNA SIT ON THIS COUCH AND WATCH THE SAME OLD CRAP ALL OVER AGAIN! THIS SUCKS! VINCE MCMAHON IS TOTAL BUNGHOLE!”

Umm...Okay.”

“...”

“Hey Beavis, maybe this will finally be the show where the Great Cornholio debuts!”

“Hmmm yeah! That would rule! THAT WOULD RULE! The Great Cornholio kicks ass!”

“Huh-huh-huh. Yeah. He’s pretty awesome. Whoa! Its Naomi! Come to Butthead!”

Mike's Prediction: Paige (I suspect they are going to make it a triple threat before all is said and done).

Chris's Prediction: Nikki

Jeff’s Prediction: Naomi

 

Kiss Me Arse Match

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

Jeff: Damn Vince McMahon forever for creating the stipulation that a man must kiss another man’s ass. That’s not homophobia, that’s every man’s pride. No one with an ounce of self-respect would kiss a man’s ass (arse if you're part of the British Empire) as a stipulation for a match. What’s next, the “Anal Bomb” match from the old Japanese garbage wrestling promotions? I didn’t need to see that then, and I don’t need to see this now. I’ll be making a run to Domino’s when this comes on. Sorry, Ziggler, but pucker up.

Chris: I guess Zigs is on the garbage heap again because he isn't winning this match.  The match should be fun as I enjoy both guys.  Still, the stipulation is a waste of my time and theirs, for that matter.  Hopefully they get both of these guys involved in something more interesting.

Mike: Fella, there is no way Sheamus drops this match.    I agree with Chris.  This will be a very good match, and I think it’s shameful that they are going to ruin it with a stupid stipulation.  Of all the matches on the card, this is the one that least needs a stupid gimmick.  I understand Extreme Rules is “Night of 1000 Gimmick matches” but this one ruins the credibility of two talented wrestlers.

Jeff's Prediction: Sheamus

Chris's Prediction: Sheamus

Mike's Prediction: Sheamus

 

Last Man Standing Match

Big Show vs. Roman Reigns

Jeff: Here’s another match I don’t care to see. Big Show and can finish this match with one punch. Roman’s Superman Punch isn’t quite the same as the Weapon of Mass Destruction. Oh sure, Roman will win. There’s no point in burying him, and Big Show winning would put a member of the Authority in line for a Title Shot against Rollins. This is booked too predictably to be entertaining. Roman wins, and sort of loses, because Show’s not really evil enough for Roman to vanquish and get his superhero popularity back.

Chris: Roman could be way further over if he hadn't spent the last six months fighting Show.  He needs to be in the ring with someone people give a damn about, and a wrestler that knows how to work.  Jeff, I don't care about this match either.  In fact, there's barely a match on the card I am excited to see.  Extreme Rules has been quite good the past two years, but this show won't continue that trend.

Mike: Building on Chris’s comments, I said Wrestlemania had a bunch of matches I didn’t care about, and I enjoyed that show a bit.  So, I’m hopeful that will happen again for Extreme Rules.  But yeah, I don’t care about this match at all.  I am not Anti-Reigns, but Big Show is way past his prime, and I just don’t see anything exciting coming out of this one.  

Jeff's Prediction: Roman “Chocolate” Reigns

Chris's Prediction: Roman Reigns

Mike's Prediction: Roman Reigns

 

Chicago Street Fight

Luke Harper vs. Dean Ambrose

Mike: A year ago, I would have said that Ambrose would be the biggest star to come out of The Shield.  He just seemed the most main event ready for me.  He was even the first member of the Shield to hold a singles title.  Instead, he’s basically been stuck in midcard hell while Rollins and Reigns have shot up to the moon.   I think this will be a pretty exciting match, but I also kind of see it as a waste for both guys.  Luke Harper is in desperate need of a gimmick change.  He’s too good a wrestler to be stuck as “Wyatt Family Member without Bray Wyatt.”

Flipping a coin on this one...

Chris: This match should be excellent, both guys are outstanding.  It's a sin that neither one has anything to do but have a meaningless feud. They both can hang way higher on the card.  Here, they'll probably curtain jerk.  Deano never wins on PPV, and Harper just never wins.  I'll go with Dean!

Jeff: This is simple. Harper is JBL 2K15. The “Duck Dynasty” edition. He’s currently just a little past Justin “Hawk” Bradshaw. He needs a face run in a powerhouse tagteam he just needs a Ron Simmons. From there, he’s coming out in the Boss Hogg limos and sportin’ the big gold belt. Meanwhile. Ambrose is still to vaguely defined as a character for anyone to care. Talent is not enough. Hell, in this game it’s not even necessary. Right, Great Khali?

 

Jeff's Prediction: Harper

Chris's Prediction: Ambrose

Mike's Prediction: Harper

 

Kickoff Pre-show: WWE Tag Team Title Match

The New Day vs. Cesaro and Tyson Kidd (c)

Mike: There are some guys that you wonder how the WWE could possibly have dropped the ball so badly on.  And quite a few of them are in this match…  The sad part is that when they give any of these guys some promo time (usually shown only on the WWE app), they all cut funny and entertaining promos.  But you just about never get to see that on actual WWE television.  Like I said about the last match, this match screams “WASTE OF TALENT” to me.   I’m assuming the titles are sticking with Cesaro and Kidd.

Chris: Waste of talent is right, but they could be Zack Ryder, Jack Swagger, Bo Dallas, or dozens of others that don't do anything ever.  At least this should be a good match.  The heel version of New Day has been a lot of fun.  Are Cesaro and Kidd going face in his match?  Either way, this will be better than a lot of the card.

Jeff: Tyson and Cesaro should be the match before the main event. They’ve got crazy good talent, and can get over with any crowd, and they make ever tag team they work with look better doing it. Except for The New Day, or as I think of them: Any Day Now (future endeavored).  How has Big E’s star fallen so fast? He’s like a solid QB who gets hurt and never starts again. He’ll float around behind sportier names and get garbage time, like pre-show matches. Kofi needs to be a heel. A straight up, “Hey, F’all y’all, I ain’t even been to Jamaica. Don’t cheer for me. Your cheers haven’t done BLEEP for me. Yeah, I said it. I don’t even care if HHH fines me for violating this weak-ass PG rule. I’m dead in the water anyway. But I’ll be damned if I’m gonna go out with breaking a few of these fools on the way.” Sigh. Never gonna happen. The WWE gave their testicales to the NYSE when they went public.  

Jeff's Prediction: Cesaro and Kidd

Chris's Prediction: Cesaro and Kidd

Mike's Prediction: Cesaro and Kidd

 

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WWE Bans the Curb Stomp

Wrestlezone has posted an exclusive saying the WWE is banning Seth Rollins from using the Curb Stomp.

 

According to WWE sources, the company will be banning Seth Rollins from using the curb stomp finishing move.

WWE’s feeling about the move, which the WWE World Heavyweight Champion uses as his finisher, is that it’s too much of a direct liability and risk for a head injury. All of sports is trying to be more proactive when it comes to preventing head injuries and concussions, and this is the reason for WWE banning the curb stomp.

WWE reportedly doesn’t want its top star to be doing that move every night and they also don’t want to be showing it in past clips or videos anymore. This is why last week on RAW when Rollins came out, the video which played during his entrance was primarily just graphics of his name. The normal entrance video for Rollins features a compilation of clips, several of which are him performing the curb stomp.

Mike:   Yes, I believe that wrestling needs to be as safe as possible, but I’ve never heard of anyone being injured by the Curb Stomp.  I guess you run the risk of kids imitating it, but that is true of just about every WWE move.   

The only “good” part about this story is that Seth Rollins has a wide variety of finishers he’s used over the years.   Hopefully this will lead him to use Skywalker, God’s Last Gift, or Avada Kedavra...all of which are damn convincing finishing moves.   I love that we have a main event this week where neither guy can use their finisher...Randy Orton in Kayfabe...Seth Rollins in real life.

Chris: I definitely get why they're banning the move, but it's just foolhardy.  Can Orton still do the punt?  I know they only pull that out on special occasions, so hopefully Seth can still do that with the Curb Stomp.  Hopefully this opens the door for one of the other great moves Seth does, like you mentioned. There's not enough finisher variety anymore. I just pray we don't get another lame leg-sweep or neck breaker.  

Mike: Looks like this story was definitely true.  Here’s Seth’s new finisher…

Uhm...yeah...so, that happened…

Jeff: Big Show can punch you in the face. Kofi Kingston and kick you there. Orton can grab you around the neck and drive your face into the mat...or does that ban extend beyond this card? Finn Balor can cannonball feet first into your ribs and guts. Triple H can Pedigree you face first. If HBK is around he’ll kick you in the face to set it up. Undertaker gets to bring his grandfathered piledriver out every year. Vince, this isn’t the NFL. You tried to do the NFL before and we all remember how that went. Every month, the WWE does something that makes me think, “He hate me.” Congrats, you’ve done it again. Hypocrites. Why do I still subscribe, again? Oh, right, I love all the old stuff.

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Richie Steamboat officially announces his retirement

Mike: As an NXT fan, this news made me sad.  Richie Steamboat was huge in the early days of NXT’s current incarnation.  But he got injured fairly soon in, and hasn’t been able to wrestle since.  Which was a shame.  I saw a lot of his father in him, but still plenty of unique talent of his own.   

The one part that bums me out about writing this column is seeing all the injury reports, especially the career ending ones.

Chris: It's a sad day anytime someone's career ends, especially when they're are young and talented.  Richie really impressed me in their early NXT days.  We definitely have to cover too much depressing news in this column.  

Jeff: I missed the Richie Steamboat days, but I’m happy for him and for anyone who can get out of the sport with their health more or less in tact. How was he on the stick? Maybe he could have a future at the announce table? I’m ready to be done with Cole and Lawler, and frankly Byron Saxton does absolutely nothing for me.

Mike: I honestly don’t remember any great promos he cut, but he really only had one brief feud before he was on the shelf, and that was with Kassius Ohno.  That said, Corey Graves has impressed me as a commentator.  I would love to see him and Renee Young move up to Smackdown or even Raw.  Someone like Richie Steamboat, if he had the inclination, interest, and skill, should definitely get a shot commentating for NXT.  

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Best in our world - Theme Songs

Mike: I love wrestling theme songs.  I actually have a ton of them on my Ipod.  

1) Hulk Hogan - Real American - God Bless Rick Derringer.  Someone commented under the video on You Tube, “Why isn’t this the national anthem?”   HELL YES!  This song is pure America to me.  I am amazed more politicians haven’t tried to steal it.  I would be inclined to anyone who came out to this song and ripped their dress shirt off.

This theme song is such an integral part of why I love wrestling so much.  I don’t care that Hogan is way past his prime...as soon as I hear this theme, to this day, I get pumped up.  Anyone who doesn’t feel that way is dead inside.  There is no other possible explanation.

2) Chris Jericho - Break the Walls Down - For the longest time, I would play this first thing in the morning every morning to get myself hyped up for the day.   I’ve said before, Jericho is my favorite wrestler, and his theme is just awesome.   They keep changing it slightly, but in all it’s variations, it’s just the perfect theme for him.  Very rock and roll.

3) Ric Flair Theme - Also Sprach Zarathustra - There are just some themes that are so iconic.  Some people think of this as “the song from 2001: A Space Odyssey.”  But for me, it will always be Ric Flair’s theme song.  I love that they are using a variation for Charlotte in the WWE.  They did a similar thing for Mr Perfect and his son, Curtis Axel.

4) Bray Wyatt - Broken Out in Love - This is my current favorite theme song.  I just find it damn hypnotic.  When it plays, I find myself swaying with no real control over it.  It’s the perfect way to introduce Bray Wyatt.  

5) Fabulous Rougeaus - All-American Boys - I will admit, as a kid, I didn’t quite get the joke that they were making fun of Americans with their theme song, but I thought this was a ridiculously catchy song.  Now I hear it as an adult and laugh, but it deserves it’s spot on the list for working on quite a few levels.  

Chris: That's a fantastic list.  Because I'm like Mark Henry, and it's what I do, I'll make my list using totally different songs.  Real American would have made my list for sure.

1) Kerry Von Erich - "Tom Sawyer" - Back in the day when rights fees weren't paid, wrestlers used whatever song they wanted.  Kerry was the "Modern Day Warrior" and this Rush song was the perfect song for him to come to battle.

2) "Mr. Perfect" - The best entrance songs symbolize who's coming to the ring in a musical fashion.  This song truly stated the best was coming and it was going to be perfect in every way!

3) "Demolition" - We talked about this one in a recent column, just like Real American, this was a great entrance song by Rick Derringer.  Pain and destruction...indeed!

4) Triple H - "The Game" or "King of Kings" - Motörhead nailed both of these tunes, which are the perfect entry music for each aspect of Trips.  He was never one of my favorite wrestlers, but these themes are outstanding.

5) Ultimate Warrior - I was a complete mark for the Warrior back in the day.  His theme was like no other, and you knew an ass kicking was coming as soon as those heavy chords hit.  I was at MSG when Warrior was the Honkytonk Man's surprise opponent.  When that music hit and he squashed the Greatest IC Champion of all time, well, the energy in the building was overwhelming for a 14 year-old.

Jeff: Good choices, gents. Real American and Demolition are certainly classics, and I do love me some Motörhead, despite the fact that when you hear it you’re going to get Triple H. Mr. Perfect and Ric Flair had great themes too. I’ll refrain from using those in the interest of variety..

1) CAN YOU DIG IT, SUCKA?!? - Booker T - It’s an infectious groove that makes me want to dance a little. And I don’t dance. Ever. Coupled with the fireballs on the stage, Booker T was always exciting to watch from his entrance to his Spin-A-Roonie, every match, every time, whether he was in Harlem Heat or strutting as King Booker. I think I’m going to pull this up on YouTube and listen to it five times, five times, five times, five times, five times!

2) The Brood - Gangrel - Gangrel is an interesting person if you ever look into how he got into the business. It’s a shame the WWE Creative never really knew what to do with him. His conditioning might not have always been the best, but his entrance--rising up from under the stage through a ring of fire, holding a chalice of blood, with this gothic rock dirge blaring, that was top-notch.

3) He’s Cool, He’s Cocky, He’s Bad - The Honky Tonk Man - Say what you will about the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time, I dig wrestlers who can sing their own theme songs...except for Cena, naturally, though I really didn’t mind “Word Life” when he was rapping and not being crammed down our throats for a decade yet. Honorable mentions to HBK’s “Sexy Boy” and Ted DiBiase’s “It’s All About The Money” by (Jimmy Hart and JJ Maguire) in the self-sung category. In fact, I’m going to add “Enzo and Cass” to this honorable mention group, because dammit those dudes are funny as hell.

4) Rainmaker - Kazuchika Okada - I have long enjoyed Japanese Puroresu, but a lot of their theme music sounds like it was mixed on a Commodore 64. Former NJPW Champion Kazuckia Okada has one of the few themes that really stood out to me. The rest always sound like the music from Ranma ½.

5) Invasion - Goldberg - I decided on my list to eschew widely known classical works, like Ric Flair’s “Also Sprach Zarathustra” or Macho Man’s “Pomp and Circumstance,” or commercial hits like Bikertaker’s “Rollin’” by Limp Bizkit. I wanted something with a patriotic feel on my list too. For me it came down to Goldberg, which I think has a darkly patriotic overtone to it, kinda like if the Marines had John Williams adapt the “Imperial March” for their needs, and Kurt Angle’s “Medal” Theme, which was nicely patriotic when he was a face and comically perfect for the “You Suck” chants to become an audience participation refrain. But for the menace behind Goldberg’s music, and the destruction that followed during his streak, Goldberg’s Invasion theme makes my list.  

Mike:  Two quick honorable mentions that didn’t end up on anyone’s list, both Attitude Era.

D-Generation X: Something about this song always appealed to me.  It also had a spectacular Titantron video.  A great theme is all about setting a mode, and DX’s theme has always done that for me.   These guys were the outlaws of the WWF, and from the moment that theme hit, you knew there was going to be trouble.   And if you aren’t down with that...I’VE GOT TWO WORDS FOR YA…

Stone Cold Steve Austin:  It’s not even the Theme Song that belongs on the list.  It is that first moment...that glass shattering.  There has never been a better “interruption” in wrestling.  You hear that glass break, you were on your feet.  I thought that was such a cool innovation, and I am surprised more theme don’t have some kind of “interruption” moment like that.  It was quick, it was easy to react to, it was everything a good entrance should be.    And it helps when you have JR punctuate it with “IT’S STONE COLD!  STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN IS HERE!”

Chris: Two more Attitude Era greats are the New Age Outlaws theme and Assman for solo Billy Gunn.  I'm a big time mark for those guys in any form, and these tunes just ring through my brain making happy thoughts.  And they both feature the word "ass" so prominently!  Who doesn't love that?  

I love to love 'em

I love to kick 'em

I love to shove 'em

I love to stick 'em

 

So, your ass better call somebody!

Jeff: (Shakes his head, thumbs through his album collection for Junkyard Dog’s “Grab Them Cakes” from The Wrestling Album.)

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NXT Results - 4/15/15

- Solomon Crowe def. CJ Parker with Brock Lock.  Solomon cut a promo after match promising "This show is just beginning."

- Baron Corbin def. Steve Cutler with End of Days.  Squash Match.

- Sami Zayn talks about fighting Rhyno tonight.  Even without a title, Sami finds himself with a target on his back.

- Enzo and Big Cass def. Angelo Dawkins and Sawyer Fulton.   During match, Blake and Murphy come out to give flowers to Carmella.

- Alex Riley cuts promo on Kevin Owens

- Dana Brooke def. Blue Pants with what looked like King Cuerno's finisher...

- Sami Zayn def. Rhyno with Helluva Kick

Mike:  I think this was probably CJ Parker's last match with NXT.  He put on a decent match with Crowe, but Solomon Crowe hasn't impressed me yet.  He has some unique moves, but he doesn't seem able to string them together into anything resembling a style.  It's not pure chaos like Ambrose...that works for me.  Instead, it just seems like Crowe knows a lot of moves, but not how to put them all together.

Jeff: I hope not! CJ Parker is finally becoming interesting, and he’s a solid performer work-wise.. They can show Oompa Loompa Crow the door right now, as far as I’m concerned. Or feed him to Ryback so the big guy can enjoy a plump and juicy meal of this oversized pencil troll.

Mike: CJ is definitely out of the WWE.  They announced it pretty much right after Wrestlemania.  I just am not sure how far in advance these episodes were taped to know if we see him again.  I try hard to avoid NXT spoilers.  

Chris: CJ has already shown up on the indies.  It's a damn shame Parker left because they didn't do anything with him.  Crowe is getting a push for some inexplicable reason.  Two matches from Solomon so far, and I've seen nothing to make me care.  Oddly, he was PWS champion at one point.  There's a lot of guys in my local promotion that would probably do a lot better in NXT.

Jeff: Say it ain’t so! CJ Parker was JUST FINALLY getting interesting! Maybe if he started breaking more noses of boring slobs like Kevin Owens he’d have got a better fan response. He certainly could have busted Oompa Loompa Crow’s nose on the way out the door. That dude sucks like Jar Jar Binks.

Mike: The main event was a nice surprise for me.  I didn't know if Rhyno's style would mesh well with Sami Zayn.  But, they not only had a very good match, they also told a great story here.  A lot of the match, Rhyno dominated Sami, just like Kevin Owens did at Takeover Rival.  When Sami fought back and won, it definitely plants the seed that he can beat Kevin Owens next time they fight.

Jeff: Agreed! I enjoyed this way more than I expected to. I wouldn’t mind seeing Rhyno face Owens...and Gore him into some Montreal indy fed for the remainder of his career so he quits boring the heck out of me.Where’s the Iron Sheik to break Owens’ back and make him humble when I need him? Man, if only the WWE wasn’t PG right now, how great would it be to have Iron Sheik be a color commentator, even if only once in awhile?

Chris: I agree on the main event being a good one, and that the Iron Sheik would be a blast on commentary.  As far as Zayn, you must be nuts!  I don't get your dislike for Sami and Kevin Owens.  They're both so talented!  Ah well, to each their own!

Jeff: Waitaminute...when have I ever put down Sami Zayn? Sami’s terrific! It’s Balls Mahoney 2K15 and Solomon Troll I can’t stand. El Generico does no wrong in my book.

Chris: LOL.  I completely misread your last comment.  I thought you wanted to kick Sami back to Montreal.  My reading comprehension could improve a touch, eh!  Scary, cause I'm a teacher!

Jeff: Don’t grade me, bro!

Mike: While we had a great main event, but the rest of the show was basically squash matches.  I think they are making a huge mistake with Baron Corbin.  They need to stop protecting him with 30 second squash matches.  He's had a few decent matches, but the only way he's going to  get better in the ring is if they let him actually wrestle and learn to put together a match.   This is doing nothing for him.

Jeff: I seem to be agreeing with you a lot this week, Mike! Free Baron Corbin! I think it’s time to impose a match minimum on his bouts!

Mike: I love that idea!  FCW actually has a title for matches under 15 minutes.  They can create one for Corbin that is for matches over 5 minutes.  I am very much on board with this!  Vince Mac, you can have that idea for free.

Chris: You guys nailed it with Corbin.  They're making the same mistake as with the Ascension.  An unrelenting series of worthless squashes where they build up no true ring skills.  Corbin could be a player but it's not going to happen if this keeps up.  I mean, how many times do we need to see the same thing?

As for another title, what you guys are saying would basically be a TV Title.  I'm all for some other strap for NXT stars to go after.  Only downside, the ladies have a belt that's the secondary championship right now, and a new belt could diminish that a bit.  I definitely don't want to see that!

Jeff: I can’t disagree there, Chris. NXT isn’t big enough for a third title. Maybe HHH should come in and say, “Effective immediately, there will be no pinfall or submissions allowed in the first 5 minutes of any NXT match. The only way a match stops earlier than that is by a referee’s decision for the safety of a wrestler. Why impose a minimum time limit, you ask? It’s simply what’s best for business. NXT is the future of the WWE, and I can’t have superstars coming up who can’t work a decent match to give the WWE Universe their money’s worth.” And then he turns around and Pedigree’s Corbin to get his heel heat back.

Mike: Fair enough.  It would be real hard to have a fourth title that can convincingly be defended in the NXT’s current format.  Though the solution to that might be to have NXT run a little longer each week.  Not 2 or 3 hours, but I think 90 minutes could work real well.  

Even though I was kind of down on a lot of this episode, I am looking forward to next week's show.  Triple Threat #1 Contender's match for Charlotte, Bailey, and Becky Lynch.  And Alex Riley takes on Kevin Owens again.

Chris: Definitely looks like a strong show next week, especially the ladies!  I bet they steal the show once again.

Jeff: C’mon Alex Riley, put me out of my misery and break that chubby punk.I wonder why Charlotte’s in that match? Wasn’t she promoted to the big league? I’d give that spot to Alexa Bliss, Blue Pants or Carmella.

---

Lucha Underground Results 4/15/15

- Dario Cueto approaches Aerostar and asks him if he finds inspiration in the stars.  He points out that Drago's inspiration comes from down below.  Dario tells Aerostar that he should be careful what he wishes for...everything in the temple has a price.

- Trios Tournament Match - King Cuerno, El Texano, and Cage def. Prince Puma, Johnny Mundo, and Hernandez.  Cuerno hit Thrill of the Hunt on Puma after Texano hit him with the bullrope.

- Dario wants to see more, so he has each of the teams in the Trios Tournament send someone to fight in a Triple Threat Match.

- Cage Vs. Son of Havoc Vs. The Mack.  Cage wins when he hits Weapon X on Son of Havoc.

- Dario approaches Drago backstage.  He tells Drago that Aerostar will stop at nothing to win...and Drago must do the same.

-Pentagon Jr tries to make Melissa Santos (the ring announcer) his next victim.  Vampiro jumps up to help, but Sexy Star makes the save before he can get in there.  She curses Pentagon out and says that she's not afraid of him.

- Drago def. Aerostar with the Dragonslayer to win their best of 5 series.   After match, Dario announces his prize.  Drago will get a Lucha Undergroud title match...but if he loses, he will be banned from the temple forever.

Mike: The Trios tournament,match was ridiculously well choreographed.  There were several lengthy sequences that were high paced and required perfect timing.  I've never seen anything like this before for such a long period of time during a match.  It was pretty awesome.

Hernandez was awesome in the early going of this match.  He was totally convincing as a unstoppable, arrogant beast.  His smirks were just perfect.  I love when a wrestler keeps the character going during the entire match.  Miz is another guy who always does that and I appreciate that.

Chris: First, you are so right about Miz.  He's such a great character that gets bashed too much.  Just a perfect heel.  Now, let's get back to Lucha.  Six-man wrestling is an absolute snooze in WWE, and, at best, a time filler in NJPW, but in LU its meaningful an awesome!  This was a berserk spot-fest that has me hyped for next week!  And that's not "hyped" in a lame Mojo Rawley way!  Oh no, this is going to be sick!

Mike: The Mack and Cage are both so much better than I expect from big men.  I am hoping to meet Cage at a PWS show this coming Saturday.  Hopefully he'll be charging less than Daniel Bryan...DB is getting $150 for photo ops and PRESIGNED autographs at a local arcade in a few weeks.  SO LAME!

Chris: I can't wait to meet Cage, as well.  More, I'm psyched to see him work up close.  His move set is outrageous.  Same with Mack, like you said.  I hope neither guy goes to WWE, because they'd turn them into statues like Show, Ryback, and Kane.

Mike: They are really pushing Team Cuerno as the favorites for next week's Trios Tournament Final.  It's King Cuerno, Cage, and Texano Vs. Big Ryck, Killshot, and The Mack vs. Son of Havoc, Angelioc, and Ivelisse.  Should be a great match.  I am picking Big Ryck and Company.  I expect them to feud with The Crew for the Trio Titles in the near future.

Chris: I caught wind of some spoilers, so I cannot confirm, nor deny.  Let's just say, the next few weeks are gonna be fun!

Mike: The final match for Aerostar and Drago was an excellent way to cap off their series.  It started slow, and I found myself cheering for both men.   Both men came out of their feud looking like superstars.

But, the real hero of tonight's show was Dario Cueto.   I often say he's basically Vince McMahon in a Spanish soap opera.  He was a busy man tonight...from him taunting Drago and Aerostar to play them against each other to filling in as ring announcer to putting Drago in a win or you're fired match.  Dario cuts great promos, and I love whenever we see him in Lucha Underground.   I think the reason he works so well is that they never overplay him.  No 20 minute long promos.  He comes out.  Makes his declarations, smirks, and lets things play out.  I love that!

Chris: The end of the main event was incredible.  That crazy roll up by Drago was wicked cool.  

I have to agree about Cueto.  He'd be just as awful as Trips if he had to ramble for massive chunks of time.  Thankfully the LU writers maximize their time each week!